Are you thinking too much?
Forums Archive Index > General Chat > Are you thinking too much?
Author: Highwind
Date: 21 Dec 2005 1:29 pm
Excessive Thinking
Hi, my name is Bob, and I am a recovering thinker...
It started out innocently enough: I began thinking at parties now and then to loosen up.
Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone, "....to relax..." I told myself, but I knew it was not true.
Thinking became more and more important, and finally I was thinking all the time.
I even thought on the job.
I knew thinking and employment did not mix, but I could not stop.. I began avoiding friends
at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I returned to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What exactly are we doing here?" Things were not great at home either. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life--she spent the night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.
One day the boss called me in and said, "Bob, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking is a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, I'll have to let you go." This gave me a lot to think about.
I went home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce."
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip quivering. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I had had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled and stomped out the door. I headed to the library in the mood for Nietzsche, roared into the parking lot, and
ran up to the big glass doors...they did not open.
The library was closed. To this day, I believe the Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. The words "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" stood out in large letters.
You may recognize the line: it comes from the standard issue "Thinkers Anonymous" poster.
Today, I am a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each
meeting we watch a non-educational video--last week it was "Porky's."
Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last
meeting. I still have my job and things are a lot better at home. Life
just got easier, somehow, once I stopped thinking.
Soon, I will be able to vote Liberal again.
Author: bontai Joe
Date: 21 Dec 2005 4:41 pm
Boy I's shur gladd thet I stopt goin to skool before I wus tramatized like you wus. :lol:
Author: Termy
Date: 21 Dec 2005 5:49 pm
Your spelling...Your spelling...ahhhhhhhhh
Your spelling is worse than mine!
Just kidding with ya... :lol:
Author: buttlint
Date: 21 Dec 2005 7:02 pm
Hi Bob!
I too was once a complusive thinker.
Was Toro better than Ariens?
Did Pri-g work better than Stabil?
Do I have too remove my Mr. Funnel when I enter a church or when the National Anthem is played at a hockey game?
Those types of questions nagged me constantly.
Not anymore! Not since I joined the group at OPEonthenet!
They changed my life!
Author: Paula
Date: 21 Dec 2005 7:18 pm
buttlint wrote:
Hi Bob!
I too was once a complusive thinker.
Was Toro better than Ariens?
Did Pri-g work better than Stabil?
Do I have too remove my Mr. Funnel when I enter a church or when the National Anthem is played at a hockey game?
Those types of questions nagged me constantly.
Not anymore! Not since I joined the group at OPEonthenet!
They changed my life!
I know what you mean there Linty....I've had some of those nagging questions too, such as...
Has Linty completed the total operation yet to become va vavoom Carlita :?:
Would he be willing to send me his fuzzy dice for my wall, since he won't be using them anymore :?:
Will I need a lint roller for them :?:
Will he kick my a$$ the next time he is anywhere near my area for asking these questions :?:
Author: snowshoveler
Date: 21 Dec 2005 8:15 pm
oh my oh my oh my.
Paula i got nothing
guess im loosing it.
chris
Author: Paula
Date: 21 Dec 2005 8:21 pm
snowshoveler wrote:
oh my oh my oh my.
Paula i got nothing
guess im loosing it.
chris
But on the bright side, you could probably be the leader in your local chapter of TA... :wink: (there's that silver lining again... 8) )
Author: buttlint
Date: 21 Dec 2005 8:32 pm
Sweetheart.
There you go thinking again..... :)
Sometimes it's just best too lay back and look good. :wink:
Does that answer question number four? :lol:
Author: Termy
Date: 21 Dec 2005 8:34 pm
Excessive thinking causes brain damage. Excessive thinking 24/7 kills you in no time flat. So please, try to loosen up a little, we don't want to loose you. Highwind on the other I might have to Terminate because he has been causing Ramit trouble. I know where you live Windy, and I am going to run you over with my new Toro :lol: :lol: :lol:
Author: Paula
Date: 21 Dec 2005 8:35 pm
buttlint wrote:
Sweetheart.
There you go thinking again..... :)
Sometimes it's just best too lay back and look good. :wink:
Does that answer question number four? :lol:
Sounds like I better start wearing pants lined with steel to protect my arse... :cry: :cry: :wink:
Author: snowshoveler
Date: 21 Dec 2005 8:54 pm
i just have to stop thinkin about it.
but when ever i do ...
there goes one of the Paula twins right before my eyes.
talk about an eye opener.whoo ho.
chris
Author: Paula
Date: 21 Dec 2005 9:26 pm
snowshoveler wrote:
i just have to stop thinkin about it.
but when ever i do ...
there goes one of the Paula twins right before my eyes.
talk about an eye opener.whoo ho.
chris
Oh crap...there's another one of me out there?! :shock:
Somebody better tell her not to join up here....tolerating one of me is enough punishment for any one forum... :roll: :roll:
Author: mrmom
Date: 21 Dec 2005 9:32 pm
Termy wrote:
Excessive thinking causes brain damage. Excessive thinking 24/7 kills you in no time flat. So please, try to loosen up a little, we don't want to loose you. Highwind on the other I might have to Terminate because he has been causing Ramit trouble. I know where you live Windy, and I am going to run you over with my new Toro :lol: :lol: :lol:
Termy, better watch out! Looks like you've been thinking too much.
Author: Termy
Date: 21 Dec 2005 9:35 pm
Well, its not my fault mrmom. You guys have been posting things to make me think. I will be sure to get control of it before my brain busts. :lol: